


afraid

by choicolatte



Category: GOT7
Genre: 2jae established boyfies, M/M, college lovestruck au, intimacy and fluff as they reminisce ab their relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-17
Updated: 2019-11-17
Packaged: 2021-02-07 14:53:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,347
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21459862
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/choicolatte/pseuds/choicolatte
Summary: Look at me, I'm afraid; that it's going to tilt by one degree.
Relationships: Choi Youngjae/Im Jaebum | JB
Comments: 10
Kudos: 39





	afraid

**Author's Note:**

> hi, this is my first fanfic i've written in TWO YEARS, yes you read that right. i have written a couple of got7 fanfics on ao3 under a different account. however, after being inactive from the fandom for a while but now just coming back into it, i decided to create a new account and start fresh. those fics are still lurking here lmao but i'm too shy to reveal my user haha. 
> 
> anyway, i hope this is to your liking. i'm VERY rusty with my writing if you can't tell, but i just literally started listening to got7 again and following them and their new comebacks - i have like 3 comebacks to catch up with HELP ME. i was SUPER inspired to write something 2jae related (they have been my otp before, and still are to this day) because of this fic i stumbled upon here titled 'capped' by beomshells (PLEASE GIVE THEIR WORKS A READ. i won't even mind you going over there rn and leaving my fic, I JUST HAVE TO PLUG HOW GOOD THEIR WRITING IS) but enough of my ramblings, on to the one shot. haha.

“This green or maroon one?”

“Hm. Can we skip these for now?” 

“Jaebeom hyung, we’ve skipped, like, six of my clothes already. I really need to have everything packed right now,” Youngjae sighs defeatedly, dragging his shoulders down with him. He places the two differently colored sweaters atop the pile of the others they have yet to sort through. It was twenty minutes until nine in the evening and, knowing Youngjae, he needed some decent shut eye in order to fully prepare himself for what’s to come the morning after. 

His flight to America is at eight in the morning. 

“Do you really want to sort through all of my stuff with me?” Youngjae asks his boyfriend, unaware of the inner turmoil brewing in the pit of Jaebeom’s stomach as he disguises it as a faint smile and a shake of his head. “You can lay on the couch while I finish up, it won’t take me long, hyung.” Attempting to ease the frustrated features on Jaebeom’s face, Youngjae scoots next to him on the floor before giving him a quick but soft peck on the cheek. 

It eases Jaebeom’s heavy heart for a moment, closing his eyes to maximize the feeling of Youngjae’s touch on his skin. But once his lover’s lips strayed from the perimeter of his face, Jaebeom feels alone in his conflict once again. 

“I’m okay, Jae. I want to help you out,” Jaebeom manages, a twinge of pain left in his words.

“I know that— but, we haven’t done much packing now, have we?” Youngjae teases lightly, signaling at the scattered clothes and other miscellaneous items he had surrounding their figures, none of which are neatly tucked away in his two enormous suitcases. He was supposed to be done a few days ago, but some of his documentation on campus got held up which needed his presence to be discussed with, and therefore delayed his progress with packing up. 

Jaebeom was there with him throughout the waiting in lines, signing forms, and sitting idly outside the embassy almost wishing for Youngjae to be disapproved for his visa. 

It didn’t take him a second to slap the selfish thought out of his mind, reminding himself that this isn’t about him at all. 

And yet, he’s trying to stall for Youngjae’s time while he was still physically near him, that is to say, by being indecisive about which clothes Youngjae should bring with him to a foreign country, and which ones were to stay with Jaebeom here in South Korea— here at home. With him. 

“I’m sorry,” Jaebeom relents with a certain shakiness to his voice. Youngjae still doesn’t get the hint, but Jaebeom is far too preoccupied by the thoughts of the future to immediately let Youngjae realize at this moment that it was a bad idea to even encourage him to study abroad in the first place.

_ Find new friends and new interests in New York? _ He already had five people who loved and adored his presence here back home, Jaebeom argues in his mind. Youngjae is plentiful with the hobbies he had discovered with Jaebeom over the past three years in university: painting sceneries on campus, baking desserts every Friday night, dog sitting for neighbors on the weekends, and attempting to find hidden moles on each of their bodies together in bed and _ more _. Wasn’t that enough for Youngjae to just stay and finish college with him, and the rest of the boys? 

Jaebeom eyes the current dilemma facing him and the oblivious puffy cheeked boy next to him, two sweaters fitting either of the two. The green sweater was a thrift shop find three months ago when Youngjae suddenly found himself broke by numbers due to the sheer amount of fees he needed to send over the university he applied for in the states. 

His favorite old green one was fraying at the collarbone, so Jaebeom suggested that they visit one of the local shops on a certain Wednesday. “They have 50% off, so you’re basically paying them spare change,” Jaebeom adds, locking fingers with Youngjae as they enter the place. “And I’m paying for everything, so don’t even look at the price tags!” Jaebeom insists with a grin, watching his boyfriend’s face ease into a relaxed visage. Youngjae chuckles at his supposed chivalry, nudging the older on the elbow. “You should be glad I’m broke to the penny or else I would consider this a cheap bribe.” 

Jaebeom attests he was going to regret ever calling thrift shops “cheap,” and he was proven right when Youngjae’s eyes landed on the only decently looking sweater that was painted in a forest green hue that matched his pale skin perfectly in autumn. Ever since, Youngjae was inseparable from the sweater in that Jaebeom had to hide it in his laundry basket in order for Youngjae to change up his wardrobe from time to time. It wasn’t long until Jaebeom decided to sport the article of clothing himself, and Youngjae— thinking he was going to be mad from the thievery that had taken place— didn’t even complain. It seemed to look better on Jaebeom, anyway. 

Youngjae was kind enough to let Jaebeom keep half of his clothes to himself since they were not going to fit in his travel suitcases.The six shirts and cardigans they had skimmed through were all just a ruse from Jaebeom to keep Youngjae up a little longer with him in the same time zone, but these two sweaters held more than just Youngjae’s familiar and comforting scent; in them were memories the two shared together in intimacy. 

“I would have thought you’d choose to take the maroon sweater in a heartbeat,” Youngjae’s gentle voice seeps through the silence of the dorm room. “Remember the day we bought it?” He adds, a slight glint to his eyes. Jaebeom whirrs his mind to recall the said event, a sudden warmth creeping up to his cheeks once the memory bounces back in his mind. 

“You looked extra cuddly in it,” Jaebeom defends himself in present time, smiling at the similarly blushing boy. 

“Then why did you take it off of me when I wasn’t done seeing it on myself?” Youngjae counters, grabbing the sweater in question and plopping it in between Jaebeom’s crossed legs. “It was really cold inside the dressing room, hyung.”

“That’s what my arms wrapped around you were for.” Jaebeom proceeds to fold both sweaters in the smallest square as possible before squeezing it into the crevices of others already organized in the suitcase. “Youngjae-yah, don’t you think it’s cold in this room right now?” He then asks, waiting patiently for an answer. 

Youngjae pouts for a second before saying, “A little? Why—” 

That’s all he needed to hear, as Jaebeom takes a hold of Youngjae’s arm and tugs it a little as an invitation to move even closer to him. Reluctantly, Youngjae stands up a little and waits for further instructions from the older. Jaebeom positions himself behind Youngjae’s back as he prompts him to sit down with his legs sprawled straight on the floor. Jaebeom follows suit, enclosing Youngjae in between him with his arms securely tightening around a blue sweater clad waist. 

He starts peppering Youngjae with whispers of kisses on the side of his neck, trailing them up to his ear and nearer to his cheeks. Youngjae sighs in content, his face becoming a magnet for Jaebeom’s touch until their lips finally meet each other in a tender kiss. Youngjae finds Jaebeom’s fingers as he interlocks his, closing them in on his stomach and right against Jaebeom’s torso. The heat of their bodies exude off of their thick clothing, and the sweet kisses emanate breathy moans from each other, only stopping for a small intake of air until they let themselves dissolve into the love being expressed in the moment. 

Jaebeom doesn’t want to miss any of this; any of Youngjae for the time he’s about to spend overseas. He needed what Youngjae provided him in all senses. They needn't be in close quarters making love— although that's always a plus—he just felt at home when Youngjae is around him. He knows Youngjae feels the same, but why does his heart keep wrecking pain in his chest ever since that day he was finally admitted to the university, and have set the timeline of his departure? 

Slithering away from his tight grasp on the younger’s body, Jaebeom allows his nervous hands to roam around Youngjae’s face, seemingly desperate to memorize every surface of his supple skin, the crinkles in his eyes when he smiles, the plumpness of his lips after sharing their intimacy together. Everything. 

“Jae,” Jaebeom breathes out, almost lost in the cold air of the room. His forehead rests naturally against the younger, eyes refusing to open or else the burning tears might escape through his eyelids. Youngjae finds himself searching Jaebeom’s face out of concern from the sudden hint of tension surrounding them. What Jaebeom feared has happened without him realizing as Youngjae gently wipes a cascading tear away with his thumb and kisses the area it had gone through. 

“What are you thinking right now, hyung?” Youngjae whispers back with uncertainty. 

“I’m afraid, Jae. I’m fucking terrified.”

“Of what, hyung? It’s not like I’m not coming back for graduation,” Youngjae assures the now silently weeping man inches close to him. Panic hits Youngjae’s nerves as he thinks of something to calm Jaebeom down from his emerging emotions. “You could’ve asked me to stay. You know I would have— for you.” 

“I knew, and I didn’t want you to. I still don’t,” Jaebeom sniffles with his words, looking up at worried eyes. He kisses Youngjae every so slightly, as the younger’s lips linger for a little longer than his but Youngjae wanted to tread carefully. This was a rare thing for Jaebeom to ever strip himself down for anyone, even Youngjae. He wants him to be vulnerable without the risk of being ashamed for his emotions. It took him some time to understand how to handle Jaebeom this way, so Youngjae continues caressing the older’s cheeks with strokes that he knew helped calm him down. Jaebeom lifts the corners of his mouth to a small, knowing smile. 

“I want you to succeed, and I want you to have the best time of your life,” Jaebeom explains. “If going abroad will help you explore what you really want to do, then I will support you all the way.”

“I don’t want you to be sad when I’m gone, though.”

“I’ll try not to be,” Jaebeom promises, shifting their position so Youngjae is now facing him fully, knees bent and hands still cradling a face full of fragile feelings close enough to break. “I’m just not used to us being away for that long.” 

“Then we’ll get used to it. I know we will,” Youngjae has started to sniffle, blinking away the wetness forming around his eyes. “I promise we’ll make it.” 

And Jaebeom believes that, of everything that he loves about this man so innocent and honest in front of him— Youngjae never breaks a promise to him. He always had his doubts about long term relationships, never quite believing the genuinity of the people involved with their hopes of staying together for the long run while keeping intact the faith they have established. Before Youngjae, Jaebeom was only interested in pursuing his degree and establishing a name of his own, prospective suitors rarely got through the second date with him. They never seemed honest enough for Jaebeom— almost always having a catch to their alluring personality in the first place. He grew tired of the facade, pretending that one night stands and fluttering flings would satisfy temporary desires. Jaebeom wanted so much more than pretending; he needed so much more than the superficial infatuation he was wading through all those times. 

Youngjae broke through that wall, that stigma, and showed him what it was like to be really in love, and really feel the desire to take care of that person because they meant that much. And Youngjae meant so much more. 

“I promise I won’t sulk too much,” Jaebeom reciprocates, ruffling Youngjae’s soft and fluffy hair at the same time. “I know we’ve talked about how to match our schedules and such, so we can just follow through it.”

“And if anything does change, we’ll always tell each other first. Right, hyung?” Youngjae asks hopefully, placing his hands in front of him, nervously fiddling with the hem of his sweatshirt. Jaebeom nods once, slowly with his heavy heart lifting all the anxiety out of his system. 

“Do you think we can go back to packing my stuff now?” 

Jaebeom chuckles with delight, the hopeful look his boyfriend is giving him is enough to send the mood back into comforting territory. This time, Jaebeom is decisive on which clothes he’d like to keep and even remembered that he brought some of his own for Youngjae to bring with him. Youngjae then insists that they should have just swapped wardrobes which made Jaebeom suggest if they can change his flight to another day for them to be able to do just that. 

“Stop being silly, hyung,” Youngjae chides him, shaking his head in amusement while filling in the gaps of the suitcase with more things to maximize some space. 

“I’m just saying,” Jaebeom innocently retorts, poking the other at his side which made Youngjae squeal in surprise. He turns to the perpetrator, ready to attack him with a more forceful shove but Jaebeom knew full well how to counter his antics by this time. Grabbing him around the waist, Jaebeom tackles Youngjae down onto the piles of sweatpants they have yet to fold, and dips further down to kiss him for a little longer. In his peripheral vision, Youngjae notices the digital clock on the coffee table, but he did not seem to care how much time has passed. He was enjoying every moment feeling at home right now. 

  
  


**Author's Note:**

> I DON'T REALLY KNOW what this is but i am super glad i was able to even write in the first place, so THANK U SO VERY MUCH for reading until the end. i plan on writing more for got7 as i continue drowning myself in their content now, and you bet ur ass i'll do more 2jae fics because i am their bitch and honestly, there's so much within their relationship that I JUST WANNA EXPRESS THROUGH WRITING u feel? also i'm a hardcore jinson & 2young stan as well so get ready for that (wow) soon enough too (if you decide to read them hahahaha no pressure) but seriously, thank you and i hope you have a good day ahead wherever you are!! :') -tfnlatte


End file.
